How Pitchfork Sucks

Pitchfork. Love it or [and] hate it, but it's a great resource and is one of the best websites to stay on top of independent music. For every unreadable, dense, jingoistic piece of crap, there's an insightful and interesting review. It's really give and take, and I think that's partially what they bank on.

Anyway, here's an example of the worst, an excerpt from their Appleseed Cast review:

The ice-blue arpeggios of "Ceremony" ring out bell-clear; offset by shuddering washes of noise in the background, they begin to wrap around themselves and are soon shattered by pounding drums. The shards coalesce like rewinding film several times before they blow apart into a final, triumphant cacophony...The glitchy, staticky drums hop adroitly between channels; sonorous feedback stutters and blinks like reflected light...

The fact that they liked it and I didn't is immaterial. That was one of the worst things I've ever read. English majors who are reading this, take heed; don't let this be you!